I'm not always sure where the line between being "appropriately vulnerable" with people about my shortcomings and insecurities versus trying to make everyone think "I have it all together," is as a pastor - but this post might cross it. If so, I apologize in advance and you can rebuke me for it later. In the meantime, I'm going to go ahead and write while I still have fresh thoughts in my head.
This morning started off like any other morning: Wake up, shower, greet my wife and kids, help the boys get their teeth brushed, have a bowl of Cinnamon Life, etc. and so forth. Like many other mornings, I had the joy of taking my son to Kindergarten. This is, however, when the morning quickly went from normal to insane. As we were headed through our neighborhood, a driver ran a stop sign - which isn't always a big deal, except that our roads are literally a sheet of ice right now. I hit my brakes and due to my superior driving skills, I successfully swerved to miss him, and ended up semi-stuck on top of a small snowbank. I waited, engine still running, for the other driver to stop and make sure that we were okay, to thank me for not plowing into him and collecting my insurance money, AND APOLOGIZE - but he just kept right on going. Something in my brain snapped.
I realized I was not as stuck as I thought I was when I floored the gas pedal of my V6 Ford and tore off after him like Roscoe P. Coaltrain in "hot pursuit." Recognizing that I was behind him and not happy, the other driver quickly ducked back into our neighborhood on another side street...I was not far behind. He then shot down another road, and I proceeded, rather quickly I might add, on an adjacent street that I knew would cut him off. Upon seeing me, he quickly made a U-turn and tried to dodge down yet another side street. I, however, knew he had made a grave mistake - he was in a cul-de-sac, and I was blocking the way out. Can you say, "BUSTED?"
My son is in the backseat in his booster chair, and yells, "There's the guy, dad!" My response was, "I know, Cade." He then asks, "What are you going to do, dad?" Kids always have the best questions. I think for a second and say, "I don't know." At that point, I decided to just drive off and leave - mostly because I was going to be late getting him to school, and the 'ol Ford was almost out of gas.
I have been wondering all day, what would I have done, if I would have decided to take it any further? Would I have beat him up? Given him a good tongue-lashing? Demand an apology? My son's question, "What are you going to do, dad?" is still ringing in my head.
I came into my office after "the incident" and picked up my Bible to have my morning quiet time. I knew I needed it. I spent part of Christmas week helping a family deal with the trauma of losing a loved one to suicide, then just last night, a close friend from a church family called to tell me his mother had just passed away. My life has been so busy, and I know I have neglected to nurture my own heart spiritually and the poor guy in my neighborhood almost received the brunt of it.
I am proceeding through the One Year Bible again this year, and one of today's passages was Psalm 4. Verse 4 says in the NLT, "Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent." David, thanks for your inspired words, and thanks to my son, for asking all the right questions. While I'm a bit sheepish about my "car chase" (although, I must say, I've got skills), I'm glad that the words of my young six-year old stopped me in the nick of time.
